He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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