What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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