So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize
