Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
