So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
