Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
