Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
birth control should be required to get into college
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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