There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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