My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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