we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
