i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
