I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
