Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize