I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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