dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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