Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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