Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
