He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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