i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
