It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
