Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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