she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
