dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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