Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
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Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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