Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
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so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
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I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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