I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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