I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The power of my boobs compel you
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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