Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
