Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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