To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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