Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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