I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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