I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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