I'm laying in your front yard are you home
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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