WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
