I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
