Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
