Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
