just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
