I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
last night I used snow as a chaser
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
