Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
