Everything about him screamed your future.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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