I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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