It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
