is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
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And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
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I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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