Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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