If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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