Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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