i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
