i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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