I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
well I can't set my house on fire every night
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
