if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he thought i was a dude.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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