If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
