Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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