This house was built for laser tag.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
