When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he thought i was a dude.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
