so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
