you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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