Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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