All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
