she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
