i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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