Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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