Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize