i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
